How do I hear God?
I´m not going to pretend to have answers to that question. The reality is even when we´re searching for the 5 steps that get us the answers to these questions we want something that feels more real.
What voice do I hear over and over in my head and in my heart? If I´m honest it´s not one that´s very kind to me. It´s a hard task master to keep it together, to not be burden, to stay on schedule. When I´ve been honest about that voice, people usually say that must be really hard to balance all that. It is. I´m not trying to do some deep heart work here. But I´m pretty sure it´s come from being let down and building walls to protect myself. If I´m in control no one can hurt me. If I do it myself, I don´t have to ask anyone and then I won´t be let down. So naturally our relationship will be better, right? Wrong.
Could that actually be the voice of God? If I were talking to anyone else, I would hope they weren´t hearing those things and thinking it was God.
Why do I allow it to rule in my own head and heart then? Could it be that the fear of change is more comforting than actually stopping and letting myself hear His voice, letting His voice define me? For me it has been.
What keeps us from hearing clearly? Noise. Stress. Hurt. Pain. Distractions. We build walls to protect us but they actually keep us from hearing truth. Like the child with her hands over her ears and screaming, trying desperately to get her way, she can´t see or hear that the Father´s hand is outstretched to her. She can´t see that maybe He´s even crouched down and opening His arms to receive her.
When I stop to think on that picture it´s one that´s hard for me to accept sometimes because it seems to easy. How could he just take me in without me having to do anything? It´s like I want to make it hard on myself.
O God, may we open our eyes and shut up long enough to see that you are crouched down with open arms ready for us to receive. May it be your voice that defines us. May we accept that it need not be complicated for it to feel ¨real.¨ May we accept that it is not about us and what we can do, but it´s about you saying that I am loved and I am beautiful right now as I am.